Need a Morale Boost? Help is Right at Home

Is it crazy to think that this show has something to teach us as we find ourselves confined in our homes during the COVID-19 pandemic?  There is no doubt that, after considering the hardships faced by frontline healthcare professionals, essential workers, and small business owners, parents are the next group under tremendous strain trying to meet the intense demands of their households.  This situation has dragged on with no clear end in sight, and the uncertainty is taking its toll on everyone’s emotions and ability to cope.

Clairbourn School students already know a lot about doing good deeds and alleviating distress in the community, and many of them are supporting healthcare workers and first-responders. But there is now a new frontline in the larger battle which is our very own doorsteps. These times call for a deeper level of service to precious family members who we often take for granted. The need of the hour is to make family care and balance a priority. So take a moment to imagine, how quickly the atmosphere in your home would change if you could take a tip from the military and assign a Morale Officer to take care of each person in the family?

What would happen if you asked your loved ones to write down the actions, kind deeds, and treats that would contribute to their personal happiness? What if you put a system in place that helped track those needs and the fulfillment of them on a weekly or daily basis? Have you already guessed that these two actions fulfill the role of a Morale Officer? Awareness of the needs of others, and finding clever ways to meet them, when possible, is the nature of the job. But this job comes with some unexpected benefits for both sides of the equation! Research shows that doing good deeds improves the happiness of both the giver and the receiver! That means that even one small act of kindness can double the amount of happiness in a household!

According to Dr. Laurie Santos, a psychology professor from Yale University, and creator of the podcast, The Happiness Lab, “When we want to be happier, we think it is time to spoil ourselves.  But is this strategy right?”  Her recent podcast “Psychopaths and Superheroes” shares interesting findings from psychology professor Liz Dunn. Dunn’s research, shows that treating ourselves doesn’t make us as happy as treating other people. In one of her studies, even toddlers who gave away goldfish crackers were happier than those who kept them.  Across the board, there is clear evidence that those who take care of others have higher levels of sustained happiness and well-being.

In that context, it makes sense to assign members of your family to Morale Officer duty. You can have everyone serve at the same time for maximum effect or you can pick someone to serve for on a rotational basis. Use this customizable chart to get started. Give each family member their own chart and ask them to make their own personal list of desired morale-boosters. Posting these lists in a highly visible location can serve as a helpful reminder to fit in kind acts for others throughout the day.

As the show Hogan’s Heroes depicted so well, morale is vital to keep military forces motivated in face of loss, hardships, and tedium. But when morale is missing, the consequences can be devastating. Many WWII ground soldiers succumbed to combat exhaustion because their spirits were crushed by unbearable conditions with little or no relief.

So what exactly is morale? We can get a better idea of it thanks to Kevin Kane’s Honors Theses, “Morale maintenance in World War II US Army Ground Combat Units.” His preferred definition of morale comes from Historian Paul Fussel who describes it in part as a “Prevailing mood and spirit, conducive to willing and dependable performance, steady self-control, and courageous, determined conduct despite danger and privations…” (Fussell, Wartime, P.144)

Keep Track of all the boxes you can check off for others and thank others who did things for you!

Kane’s research shows that morale can be lifted according to the amount of attention paid to four main categories, “Pride, Credit and Camaraderie, Necessities of Combat, Tactical Concerns, and Escape from the Frontlines.” A skilled morale officer should be alert to the mood, condition, and needs of the troops and provide, if possible, the morale-boosters identified above. 

Like soldiers in a military unit, family members need to experience moments of “Pride, Credit, and Camaraderie.”  Putting this into practice can look like gratitude expressed to each family members for their positive contributions, achievements, and actions during the day. Or it can be a system of acknowledgement for those who are improving the cleanliness and atmosphere of the home.

The concept of camaraderie can easily translate into activities that build family unity. One powerful unity-building activity can be to share your family’s history with your children. Dr. David Niven, Author of The 100 Simple Secrets of Happy Families, encourages families to, “Celebrate your history. Sharing details from your family tree will help your kids feel like they belong to something greater than themselves and make them feel more grounded.” Another way to feel close as a family can be to pick a charity together and brainstorm ways to support it. Scott Haltzman, MD, who wrote The Secrets of Happy Families says, “people who give (time or money) are happier…” and “It’s important that children learn that they are not the center of the universe and that they can have an impact on the world around them.”  

For good morale, families can also aspire to put the “Necessities of Combat” in place. This means checking that everyone in the house has what they need to succeed. Is there a piece of technology that is required? Is there a need for a quieter workspace for a certain family member? Or, is there a need to keep things interesting at mealtime? See what elements are within your power to change and make the needed adjustments.  New experiences are a great place to start and can be incredibly refreshing. Maybe try some new foods and recipes, have some new board games delivered, or choose a TV series that the whole family can watch together. 

Household cleanliness is included in this category and has a major impact on morale. Right now, households have to do a lot more cleaning to protect against COVID-19, and this added burden can destroy the already fragile morale of parents whose life-complexity has quadrupled. So get everyone involved to help, and start simply.  Meet as a family to assign a few age-appropriate household duties and build up the level of assignments over time. This strategy of everyone pitching in to help can go a long way in winning the battle for high family morale.

Families can also benefit from addressing key “Tactical Concerns.” Lack of training was a major tactical concern for replacement troops and it caused them to experience massive casualties in WWII.  Many parents, now playing the role of teacher, best friend, housekeeper, and tech support are similar to replacement troops thrown into new situations without proper training. When a family takes the time to address their needs for training in the new ways to accomplish their tasks, combined with plenty of patience, overall morale will improve and will help to combat crushing feelings of failure.

Lastly, strong family morale depends on having plans in place to “Escape from the Frontlines.” Parents can work together to be the one “on duty” to provide moments of peace and quiet for each other.  Kids can request special diversions or a routine changes so they can recharge or sleep in.  Escape can even take the form of encouraging a family member to get up and take a walk, seeing who needs to be refreshed with a nice snack or cool drink, or going on patrol around the house to give out much-needed hugs and kisses.  A true Morale Officer will be creative and think of lots of ways to care for those in the household beyond what is noted on everyone’s lists. And, it’s easy to predict, that the ones who most faithfully carry out their morale-boosting duties will be the ones, not just surviving, but thriving from collective atmosphere of family happiness they helped to create.