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Not One Sock Left Behind! How Kids Can Help at Home

Nancy Ward
Now that Clairbourn School students are spending all of their time at home due to COVID-19 sheltering in place, many of our parents are feeling like full-time maids on top of their overwhelming normal responsibilities. Lack of help from family members in tidying-up can lead to a breakdown in morale among family members when some don’t do their fair share.  But the good news is, learning to help is part of each student’s character education and it is part of building up their inner sense of purpose and value.
 
Dr. Robert Myers from the Child Development Institute published an insightful article last year called, “The Reason Children Should Do Chores is Because it’s Good for Them.”  He wants parents to know that, “Giving children chores can make them feel wanted, teach important life skills, and help ease the workload for parents. Recent studies have found that giving children chores from an early age will help teach them work ethic, responsibility, self-reliance, and other vital life skills.”

Author Stephanie Simpson McLellan agrees in her article, “6 Ways to Get Kids to Help Out at Home,” and explains, “It just makes sense: If your kids contribute to the mess around the house, they should help tidy it up. Not so much for your sake, but for theirs. ‘One of the biggest problems children experience is that they don’t feel needed,’ says Maggie Reigh author of 9 Ways to Bring Out the Best in You & Your Child. To help kids mature into emotionally healthy adults, ‘they need to feel that their contribution matters,” she says. “Chores are a really tangible way to do that.’”

McLellan’s recommended system has six parts:
 
  Chores help students build a sense of purpose.
  1. Match an age-appropriate chore to the child.
  2. Train them on how to do a chore in simple to understand steps.
  3. Accept imperfection in chore performance as they learn.
  4. Do chores as a team when possible so they are a part of something that everyone is doing.
  5. Be consistent (have chore time every day) with age-appropriate consequences.
  6. Don’t tie chores to earning an allowance because the reward should be praise for doing the right thing and contributing to the household.
Everyone knows, however, that asking kids to do chores can result in an endless pushback and nagging cycle that creates misery for everyone. The good news is, there is a way around this major pitfall.  Start slowly! 

Janet Lehman’s article, “How to Get Kids to Do Chores Without an Argument” from the website EmpoweringParents.com advises, “Focus on one chore at a time: In order to change behaviors, don’t try to take on too many things at once. It will just overload both you and your child. Pick the most bothersome problem—let’s say it’s putting their dirty clothes in the hamper—and start there. This focus will help both you and your child set realistic expectations, follow-through, and ultimately succeed.”

 
Match the age-appropriate chore to the child. 
She continues, “With younger kids, kids with ADHD or those who lack organizational skills, you may need to help them figure out how to approach a task. Some of their resistance to your nagging may have to do with their inability to know where and how to begin. Their room may be so messy and full of stuff that they really don’t know where to begin and simply give up. You can say, “Okay, let’s start with your dirty clothes, then your bed, then the floor…” and take it from there.”

Helpful Tools to Make it Happen:
  • Has a Parent Mode which keeps the essential management features hidden to the kids.
  • Earn stars after completing the chores and uses those stars to get rewards.
  • Your kid’s star totals and progress for the week will be shown on the start screen.
  • Trophies for achieving the completion of tasks.
  • App development based on teacher and parent suggestions.
  • Habitica is a video game to help you improve real life habits.
  • It “gamifies” your life by turning all your tasks (habits, dailies, and to-dos) into little monsters you have to conquer.
  • The better you are at this, the more you progress in the game. If you slip up in life, your character starts backsliding in the game.
 
 The key is to start small. Focus on one thing like, "No sock left behind!"
Each family has a wonderful opportunity, while sheltering in place, to help students build the skills of domestic contribution and maintenance. They will be adding to their sense of family contribution and purpose and learn new skills in the process! Our rally cry can be, “Not One Sock Left Behind!”
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